Fantasy 411 haiku
I guess destroying the Grapefruit League wasn’t enough for Hunter Pence to win a job in the Astros’ outfield, so we’ll wait for his inevitable return once the season starts. In his honor, though, offer 411 Haiku #1:
Hunter gets sent down
while Biggio, Burke and Lane
still get to play? Huh?
mlbtstufantasy411
Papelbon closer?
I guess Mikey wins the bet
Schwartz buys Kobe beef
Mike In CT
I think the deal states all of Papelbon’s appearances will either be starting (GS) or closing (relieving since he will come into games not in a save situations).
So the season will have to play out to see if Papelbon gets a start later.
I think it is looking good for Cory to win the bet.
Zack-Philly.
Specific Haiku for Cory:
New Pitcher in Town
One that should not make him frown
Who is it you say?
Why it’s Clay Hensley – Padre!
Having a great spring
Go ahead and have a fling!
Lilly hurt you bad
But Hensley could be your lad
This Haiku brought to you by Deano from Newfoundland.(Not a english major!)
Check the archives folks, I stated many times over the winter that Papelbon should be the Sox closer this year. The bet was simply that he would pitch 100% of his appearances in one role or the other, whether starter or reliever. So if he opens the season as the closer, he has to pitch 100% out of the bullpen for me to win the bet.
And Deano, nice try on the Haiku but you violated the 5-7-5 structure.
–CS
How about:
—–
Erik Bedard’s not
“List of 12″, even counting
WBC.
—
I also think that sets a theoretical record for shortest possible number of letters in a line of English Haiku.
How about this Haiku for the 411 draft strategy?
Best hitters at first;
Elite closers back-to-back;
Starters? Whenever!
Chris in London
BTW, I’m not saying Bedard won’t be good in 2007. Just saying that you can’t include him on the list, and still maintain that it’s just an “objective formula.”
–Matt in Philly.
Chris, love it!
Matt, why not?
Because I understood that the “Objective Formula” was that the pitcher passed 500 career innings in the previous year, and Bedard only has 476 career innings.
–Matt in Philly
LOL. My bad Cory. I just kept the 5/5 thing going. Told you I was no english major! Now I gotta “wiki” Haiku’s!
Can’t type either….5/7
Your problem, not mine
List of 12 and DTM
411 isms
Pick my draft order
Try not to choose me seventh
I don’t want that pick
I will show my work
Do not confuse the outcome
With the decision
Matt, you are correct that I bent the “rule” a bit on Bedard, but I thought it was justified since he is only 24 IP short and missed plenty of innings due to injuries. Yes that brings more subjectivity into it than I should, but a) I haven’t made any other exceptions on the list before this one so I don’t think the objectivity is eroded in any meangingful way, and b) innings is a proxy for experience and I’m satisifed he has enough to be on the list.
–CS
Hot Stove Haiku
Made it through football
And the Final Four tourney
Just to hear “Play ball!”
“Bears stink too” haiku
Soriano errs,
Prior and Wood hurt again,
Cubs finish in fifth
-Eric in Cincy
“Mission Impossible” haiku
In “Bodes” final hour
RFK saps all power
Nats need Jack Bauer
That one even rhymes.
-Eric in Cincy
“Fantasy First” haiku
Kiss the wife goodbye
Got the comp and Mosaic
See you in eight months
Line of the day from the Friday 3/23 show:
“You can’t not like anything with ‘funk’ in it.”
-Cory, discussing team names while picking draft order.
thrilljam, best one yet!! Here’s another take on the theme:
Sorry, my darling
We interrupt this marriage
For baseball season
And in honor of our fallen warriors…
Figgins, then Mauer
Furcal’s ankle goes kaboom
Start the season now!
–CS
Cory or Mike –
I think I remember other years you posted the stats it took on average to win a 10, 12 or 15 team league. I never saved them. Do you think you could share this with us again so I can see how I stack up based on 2007 projections. Thanks.
Here’s a good team name
I’m married to the devil
She will never know
Fantasy baseball
Definitely not for wives
Children stay home too
Power, speed early
Coming next, stikeout closers
Then fill in the blanks
If you can still read
This post you haven’t had all
The beer you can drink
Too bad it would cost
A college education
At MLB parks
I know the last 2 kind of go together but I couldn’t resist. Go Hoyas just for Protrade.
Keeper list Haiku:
The Threshold Question:
The player or roster spot,
Which do you prefer?
Love the haiku humor:
Harden’s wicked stuff
Cactus league looks silly, still
Your problem not mine
Cory Schwartz nightmare
DTM resurrection
Cy Young: Ted Lilly
411 music
I hear Vinny Micucci:
Siano gone again
Anecdotes abound
To work for the NBA
Like Cory Schwartz did
Take the best player
Or position scarcity
Conundrums abound
Johan, Carpenter
These are the anti-Schwartzstops
Have a great season
The Baseball Channel
Get your fantasy fix at
Noon every weekday
With respect to Bauer and Norris, 411 Haiku is our best running joke yet…
Other than these two,
This year’s list of 12 looks thin:
Haren and Bedard
K-Rod in the 6th
Then Nathan in the 7th
Draft day dreams come true?
Keep up the good work!
–CS
AL Tout Auction –
Can’t wait to hear Mike’s Comments.
Good Luck to Cory
Chuck Norris is mad:
What poem could be better than
“Laughter/Manslaughter”
It’s been a long night
NL Tout prep is finished
Pray for me Sunday!
–CS
Most drafts are over,
So let the season begin!
Mets at Cardinals
–CS
Braves pitching prospect
Had a stellar rookie year
I’m Chuck James BEYOTCH!
….and the haiku’s keep on coming.
must get home for draft
why the **** is my train late
auto pick: oh ****!
…stupid LIRR
Best players available
Two starting pitchers?
Yes…it’s all about value!!!
Glad I could post my haiku
before Cory and
Mike throw dirt on this dead horse
-Drew in Wilmington (DE)
Haiku is simple:
Five, seven, then five again
Let’s get it right folks!
–CS
Jorge Julio
Can he really be worth it
Draft him or Dotel?
11 year old
Fifth graders can write haiku
Why can’t some of you
Auction or snake draft
A redraft or a keeper
What is your preference
Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris
Kicking A– and Taking Names
That’s what it’s about
Reserve round haiku:
Yes, I picked Marquis
But at least I can cut him!
Just taking a shot
What does it say for
The auction part of my draft
When four reserves start??
–CS
AL Tout Wars very niice
Middle infielders values inflated like gas prices
Find good bargain like YuBet
-Bryan in Detroit
411 Haikus?
Where is all the baseball talk?
Fantasy Beatniks
Sabermetric poems?
OBPS has a ring
Fantasy nerds love
Yanks opening day
um….Carl Pavano? really?
when will rocket sign?
(p.s. I work at a fire department where I am in charge of the marquee sign. I try to post haikus as often as I can get away with it….)
Bryan in Detroit
Follow the haiku format
5, 7, 5 man
It is not that hard
To count up the syllables
While you are writing
Now, back to baseball
A mere four more days to go
Till Opening Day
Draft day is Sunday
My keeper list is all set
Flags Fly Forever
Now I am all done
No more posting weak haikus
Go hard or go home
Mike in CT
Hey Siano and Schwartz,
Was there a Chuck Norris thread?
I’m just wondering.
I am a fifth grade teacher and mentioned haiku to my students again today. I told Cory’s story of NBA haikus and told them about some of the people who have had trouble following the rules of this form of poetry. They laughed and then wrote some. Here are some of the best.
You are a dummy
If you can’t write haiku
You orangutan
We’re smarter than you
At least we can write you know
What can you do well?
I can write haikus
Seriously why can’t you
You big fat losers
You are really dumb
You couldn’t have gone to school
Why write if you can’t
Manny is the bomb
Home Runs is his nickname Bums
Boo to the Yankees
Jeter is a Bum
Can’t even hit in a run
He’s a waste of time
Haikus are easy
Why can’t you write a haiku
You are a loser
Boston is the worst
New York Yankees are better
They will always win
wang, moose, and pettitte
what are you doing to us
ohh not pavano!
lidge at 1.90?
there is some hope yet!
oh wait, that’s his WHIP
Lou is Joysey
Listening to Monday’s show about auctions reminded me of my own happy memories of Fantasy Football (that’s soccer to Americans) auctions over here. One prolific goal-scorer, Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbaink of Leeds United, was a personal favourite of one particular participant. Much to our amusement said manager introduced him with a flourish on auction day, having been the only one not to have read the papers that morning… here’s my haiku in honour of the occasion. You need to know that our budget was £40m.
“Fifteen mill for Jimmy”.
Announcement met with silence.
He’d signed for Madrid.
My name is David, in Hampshire (UK) by the way…
This is officially my favorite blog ever. I guess we have several candidates here for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
Keep ‘em coming, from both sides of the pond!
We, the 411
Will make no apologies
For our bad haiku!
–CS
i called all winter
almost 50 haiku posts
this is a disease
Sorry for that one Mike
Roto research crazed my mind
Heres one for you all:
“There’s always next year”
Being born Royals fan cursed
Praise Alex Gordon
-Bryan in Detroit, originally KC
Haiku’s on my draft snafu’s:
Wanted to draft speed
I got Chone in the 8th round
Then F. Lopez too?!
Took a Late flier
Triple A for Mark Prior
Time to dump that stiff
El Caballo fell
From the second to fifth round
Abreu instead?!
- Jeff in Baltimore
Haiku in pain.
thigh high cheese turns meat
oh Contreras mon fr’ere ***!
starting pitchers blow!!!!!
Soggy Cheeseballs
(as my era swiftly climbs into orbit)
Hey guys, My name is Jon & I’m 19 & I live in Bloomington,Minnesota. So my question is, How do you think the Minnesota Twins will do this year? & Do you think they have a strong enought offense to help their pitching staff out?
Thanks,
From,Jon
Both Snell and Kinsler
Are putting up big numbers
Name your kids Ian
Dunn kills average
But hits towering homers
My problem, not yours
Dustin Hermanson:
Nervous breakdown – lost his job
Why does Lidge have his?
sitting here waiting
for you to post the podcast
it’s there! finally
yeah, not great, but it has the right number of syllables!
Roberts and Kinsler
Are both on my team this year
I hate eight team leagues
The ladies sigh more?
I am the one who’s in awe…
Grady’s on my team!
Eight Hundred Four Three
One Zero Seven Three Four
Who’s in your Fav Five?
BEST PITCHER IN BASEBALL !!!
Listen Red Sox Fans,
M’s defeat Matsuzaka,
Can’t touch Hernandez
Five hitters rained out
My opponent lost no one
I hate weekly lineups!
Correction to above:
Five hitters rained out
My opponent lost no one
Screw weekly lineups!
The regular season has ended so it’s time to revive this thread…
Welcome to winter
Keeper lists and cutdown day
Is it draft day yet??
Hope everyone is enjoying the postseason!
Flags Fly Forever
Even when Barry Zito
Is on your roster
Mike in CT